


Reach

by OKami_hu



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Amputee Bodhi, Bassian Week 2017, Depression, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Force-Sensitive Bodhi, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-16 09:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OKami_hu/pseuds/OKami_hu
Summary: Prompt fills written for the 2017 BodhiCassian Week on tumblr





	1. After Scarif / Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> WELL. I wanted to write porn for every prompt. It didn't work out. 
> 
> The title refers to the Gloria Estefan song.

They all had their fair share of recovery to do; some just more than others. Jyn was pretty well off. Cassian broke a leg, two ribs and had microfractures on several vertebrae, which was a miracle considering that he fell from a considerable height. The doctors said he’s lucky he can still walk and Cassian did feel lucky. 

Chirrut shook the concussion off like a dog shakes off water, his bruises disappeared in record time and he was up and about, being his surprisingly charming and calming self. Baze’s leg healed well too, and the burn marks faded basically without a trace. 

Then there was Bodhi. The guy who saved them all. The fidgety little thing, the Jedhan boy, the former Imperial. The pilot who managed to throw a grenade out of the shuttle far enough to save the vehicle but not quickly enough to escape the damage it caused. The pilot who steered with one hand and still fetched everyone still alive on site until he passed out from the strain of his injuries. The young man Cassian held tight during the journey back to Yavin 4.

It’s been months. Supplies came rhapsodically at best, medical supplies included. Bodhi had been promised aid, but he had to wait for it. He had plenty of healing to do in the meantime. 

It was funny, Cassian though, that he was bound to bed and Bodhi wasn’t. It should’ve been the other way around. It was maddening to watch those lovely brown eyes gleaming dimly, as if veiled by a shadow of death. Cassian kept asking, and he was told that Bodhi was well physically but he had other scars, unseen ones burning with a peculiar inflammation. 

Cassian’s heart beat faster every time Bodhi shoved up at his door, quietly like a ghost, clad in loose pants and an oversized shirt, his long hair unbound, tousled by tossing and turning too much in bed. His voice was but a whisper as he asked if he could stay. Cassian always said yes, then watched the thin body that seemed to be getting thinner and thinner with every passing day curl up like a tightly clenched fist on the other bed. Cassian watched until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. 

When he woke up, Bodhi was always gone. 

Cassian was itching, but on the inside. It should have been him on his feet, holding that frail young man. Then again, maybe that wouldn’t have been enough; and Cassian wasn’t sure what he could say. Telling Bodhi that it was okay, that he had nothing to worry about, that he did well would’ve been pointless. Saying things like that never solved anything. So he kept watch until the wee hours of dawn and drifted off into a sleep feeling thankful that providing Bodhi with company was at least making the nights slightly better. 

It was one of the brightest day of his life when the doctors declared him fit to walk. Still no exertion until the bones mended, but it was enough. Cassian wanted to visit everyone, kyber-bright Jyn, rock-solid Baze and pond-calm Chirrut, and _K-2_ , _K-2_ , _K-2_ , his best and for so long, only friend. Cassian hadn’t noticed how much love had gathered in his heart until it overflowed. 

There was also the sad son of Jedha, the survivor of sands. Cassian both longed for and dared to see him but as he idly wandered the corridors, his feet eventually carried him to Bodhi. The pilot took to sitting at the edge of the hangar bay, precariously perched on a crate and watching the bustle. Cassian halted in a respectful distance and took a moment to assess him. 

Bodhi got thinner for sure, but at least not dangerously so; most probably the others cared for him and Cassian felt thankful for that. Bodhi’s hair had grown longer and someone gathered it into a tail that almost reached the middle of his back now. His dark skin seemed paler, and his delicate hand lingered at the right sleeve of his shirt.

The sleeve that hung empty.

Cassian took care to approach from an angle where Bodhi could spot him from afar and when he looked at Cassian, for a moment the sun peeked through the dark clouds of misery; Bodhi’s face and eyes lit up and his lips curled upwards with a small smile.

“Cassian!” Bodhi carefully climbed off his perch. “They let you get up?”

“Yes! Yes, I haven’t escaped, I am allowed to walk around. Feels good.” Cassian stretched very carefully. “I went to see the others then came here to find you.” He stepped closer. “I don’t think I’ve had the mind to actually thank you for saving me. Us.”

Bodhi’s smile was still there, but it began to wane. He shrugged. “It’s what friends do. I was to get you in and out. I got it right. For once.” His hand crept to his empty sleeve. 

The movement drew Cassian’s eyes; it was only natural. It’s just, Bodhi couldn’t help but notice how people glanced at him when he wasn’t even moving. It made him want to hide. Other times, it made him want to scream. The rest of the time, it made him want to die. 

Well, not _die_ die, just… a little. For a little while, to be out of this all, to be at peace, free of thought. To finally stop seeing subtle movement in the dark, just on the edge of his vision whenever he opened his eyes, and blinding light when he closed them. 

He was lucky, they told him. It could have been worse, they told him. He could have ended up deaf, blind, his face melted off, or, yeah, dead. He only lost an arm and it was going to get replaced. 

Bodhi wasn’t sure why this did nothing to his mental state. 

And he _was_ improving. When he first came to himself in the infirmary, they had to sedate him to make him catch any sleep at all. Jyn’s presence helped much. As did K-2’s, and Chirrut’s and Baze’s but once they were well enough, Bodhi didn’t want to whine for their attention. So he sought out Cassian. Bodhi just hoped he wasn’t annoying, but Cassian never seemed to mind. 

The nightmares stayed away when he was sleeping in Cassian’s room. 

A touch startled Bodhi out of his reverie and he looked up in alarm. Cassian looked back, serious and distantly sad. “I mean it,” he told Bodhi. “If it weren’t for you, we’d be dead. You were amazing. Few people would’ve been able to steer the shuttle with one hand.” He placed his other hand on Bodhi’s abused arm and would have continued, but the pilot flinched. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Cassian snatched his hand away. “Does it hurt?”

Bodhi pressed his lips together and shrugged. “Phantom pain, they say. It’s not real. And it’s not constant. It doesn’t matter.”

Cassian fell silent and Bodhi was torn between wishing him gone and staying here to press the issue. 

“Can we talk somewhere else?” Cassian inquired softly. “I don’t know. Your room?”

Bodhi wanted to say no. “Okay.”

They walked in silence through the corridors. It felt like a death march. When the door slid closed behind them, Bodhi felt trapped. 

Cassian gestured toward the bed. “Let’s sit down.” 

Bodhi nodded and settled down on the edge, like a frightened animal ready to bolt. 

“Are you afraid of me?” The sadness in Cassian’s voice made Bodhi cringe. “N-no...”

“I’m glad,” Cassian sighed. “Bodhi, please trust me. I am your friend. We all are. We did something together, each of us playing a part and we succeeded. We completed the objective and returned to tell the tale. That’s… more than a lot of us can say.”

“Yes,” Bodhi nodded. “It’s more than NiJedha can say. Or Galen. Or the rest of Rogue One. It’s more than I deserve to say.”

Cassian tilted his head to the side. “That’s called Survivor’s Guilt, I hope they told you about it?”

“In excruciating detail,” Bodhi looked disgusted. “But knowing it doesn’t help. Knowing that I shouldn’t feel awful won’t bring anyone back. It won’t make it better.”

“No. No, it won’t, if you don’t let it get better.”

Bodhi looked up, his jaw trembling, whether from sadness or anger, it was hard to tell. Cassian cupped the faded brown face with both his hands. 

“You are trying to shoulder things that you didn’t commit,” he whispered. “You didn’t destroy Jedha. It was the Death Star. You didn’t stall the message, it was Gerrera and you didn’t send it too late, it was Galen Erso, and they didn’t know, couldn’t know that it was already too late. You did your job. You are the pilot. You brought the message.” 

Bodhi swallowed hard, his eyes beginning to shine, begging mutely to Cassian to talk. Cassian still had no idea what to say.

“I know how you feel, because I feel like that sometimes. I know it’s terrible and it wants to kill you. I know it’s hard. There were days I wanted to kill myself. But there was always something I could fight for. The Rebellion. A chance for redemption. Sometimes I had to resort to thinking about K-2, ‘cause he’d miss me.” Cassian chuckled and his heart leapt when Bodhi’s lips twitched.

“You have something to care for… Us. Jyn and the Guardians. K-2 is actually fond of you. And- I don’t want to see you in pain. You don’t deserve this. We are big damn heroes for filching those plans, think of the millions, billions of people we saved! The Empire wouldn’t have stopped at Jedha, and Scarif, and Alderaan. Do you think we don’t feel awful about all the lives lost? Imagine how the princess might feel. I’m sure she thinks Alderaan is her fault.” 

Bodhi’s breath hitched softly and his hand weakly curled into Cassian’s shirt.

“Whatever crimes you think you have committed, you’ve erased them by coming with us. We all went because of that. To make things right, and you of all people - you paid even more.” Cassian gently touched the stump hidden by the shirt’s sleeve. “I know my babbling won’t help, but please Bodhi, don’t leave us. We all owe you our lives and we’re going to help to reclaim yours. Can you believe me when I say this?”

Bodhi’s lips parted, he gulped and nodded vigorously. “Th-thank you so much. I d-don’t want to leave you just- H-help me get through this.”

“I will,” Cassian promised and pulled Bodhi closer. “We all will.” He closed his eyes when he felt a single arm sneaking around his waist, and he held the weeping Bodhi tight, caressing his hair and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

There was a long road ahead of them both to recovery, but the first - hardest - step was already taken. 


	2. First Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still no smut, but less angst and more kissing.

Cassian had been there when the prosthetic was attached. Bodhi didn’t explicitly ask him to come, but since they spent a lot of time together, Cassian was becoming good at reading Bodhi. Most of the time, he just needed someone to hold him. 

It wasn’t always Cassian; Baze and Chirrut were always eager to spend time with their little brother, Jyn had no problems with Bodhi leaning against her slightly while they read and drank caf and Cassian had spied K-2 receiving a buffing job from Bodhi, and they both seemed to thoroughly enjoy the experience. 

Cassian was glad for all the comfort that was provided but for some reason, it made him feel… peculiar, to see Bodhi getting hugged by other people. He quickly grew fond of Bodhi’s scent, his warmth and his endless chatter. His mental health was steadily improving and finally, it was time to mend the last of the physical damage. 

Bodhi watched intently as the doctor calibrated the prosthetic arm - just the bare bone black frame for now. It looked dangerous, gleaming slickly in the light.

“It’s like Kaytu’s, isn’t it?” Bodhi smiled up at Cassian and he smiled back. “Yeah. You two are going to be even tighter friends now, and I’m going to be jealous.”

“Aw, you don’t have to. I’m not going to take your only friend away,” Bodhi joked and Cassian marveled at his smile, ignoring the doctor’s. 

“Alright, we’re finished,” the doctor announced next. “The neural connection works as it should, you’re good as new. And an excellent patient I may add. Other fuss more.”

“Thank you,” Bodhi blushed faintly and Cassian had to bite the inside of his cheek to not grin like some half-wit. “Um- It’s not going to get- uh, covered…?”

“Not yet, I’m afraid,” the doctor shook his head with regret. “We have placed our orders, but it’s going to be a little longer until we can get enough synthskin to properly cover all of the frame. I’m sorry, and I’m going to push everyone responsible. I know it… doesn’t look good, but it’s better than nothing, right?”

“True,” Bodhi agreed. He flexed his fingers and scratched his nose with his metallic fingers. “Heh, it feels weird! I can feel with it just fine but it’s colder and harder and- I should leave I guess, you must be busy, doctor.”

“Don’t let it soak for too long in hot water, the frame will heat up and it can be uncomfortable,” the doctor warned. “Have a nice day.”

“How do you feel?” Cassian inquired once they stepped out of the infirmary. 

“I’ll feel definitely even better once it isn’t so ugly,” Bodhi wiggled his fingers with a grimace. “I mean, it looks good on Kaytu, but… Everyone will keep staring.”

Cassian wanted to say something to that, but he couldn’t. They _were_ going to stare, and telling Bodhi to ignore it was going to achieve nothing. “Small steps,” he offered eventually. “You have your arm back, life’s going to be significantly easier from now on.”

“I guess,” Bodhi agreed. “I can wait a while longer.” He fell silent for a while, then looked up. “Cassian, would you mind-”

He couldn’t finish. One of the pilots of Green Squadron rounded the corner and his face lit up. “Rook! I hoped I was go- Hey! New arm!” He laughed and clapped Bodhi on the shoulder. “Finally! Now you can drop that long face and come join us! We were getting worried.”

“You were?” Bodhi looked puzzled.

“Of course. Don’t think we didn’t notice how you were nesting on the crates all sad and lonely. That’s why everyone was asking you to help them… When there was something you could do…” Unease swept over his face for a moment but he smiled again. “You’ll be cleared to fly soon, I’m sure of it. Force knows we can use anyone who knows how to lift a machine off the ground! Anyway. Ervis told me to tell you that there’s something she’d like to show you, I don’t know what, but you can catch her at the hangar back by the cargo ships. I’ll go take your place in the medbay, I think I pulled my back.” He rolled his shoulder with a pained expression then gently punched Bodhi in the shoulder, nodded to Cassian and walked off. 

“Thanks!” Bodhi called after him then glanced at Cassian.”Would you like to come with me?”

“Sure.”

When they reached the hangar bay, they found quite a commotion - medical and food supplies were distributed first from the runs and it looked like they just got to the mechanical parts. The engineers and mechanics were busy opening crates, everyone was demanding whatever they needed, there was a bit of chaos. A Chief Technician was trying to take charge with mixed results. 

Cassian chuckled and pulled Bodhi closer, trying to steer him across the gathering crowd. “Maybe your friend got a new trinket?”

“Ervis used to be a technician and she brought her own tools for running diagnostics,” Bodhi explained and Cassian could notice the subtle change about him - among ships, Bodhi seemed more relaxed, more sure-footed, he even carried himself straighter.

The crew around them continued to swarm, with a few pilots and droids trying to make their way through the bustle as well. One droid was apparently in a hurry because it arrived with speed, beeping indignantly, dodging people and fellow droids. In its haste, it managed to miscalculate and bumped into a high stack of crates, causing the entire structure to topple and fall over. 

Right on top of Cassian and Bodhi. 

Cassian managed to shove his friend away but he was knocked off his feet by one of the boxes. People nearby jumped at the racket, which was immediately followed by yelling, the droid’s terrified beeping and crewmembers rushing to help and assess damage. 

“Cassian!” Bodhi promptly grabbed the crate and hauled it away, falling on his knees next to his friend. “Cassian, are you okay? Are you hurt? Can you move? Cass-!”

“Ow,” Cassian commented then sat up. Bodhi frantically pawed at him, checking for injuries. “I’m okay… I think. Nothing hurts… I mean, more than it’d be healthy...”

A dark-skinned crewmember stepped closer and pulled Cassian to his feet. “Boy, you were lucky those crates were empty! Then again, otherwise this metallic bantha wouldn’t have knocked them over...” He whacked the droid over the cranial unit. It kept beeping.

“Quit it now, he’ll be okay…”

“Yeah, it’s alright, it was an accident,” Cassian soothed. “I’m fine.”

“We should go to the infirmary though,” Bodhi attached himself to Cassian’s arm and seemed very reluctant to let go. “You were told to take it easy!”

“I was taking it easy,” Cassian grinned but let himself be dragged off. “I did not jump on the crates, they jumped on me.”

“If it turns out that you’re injured, I’ll-” Bodhi blushed a little. “I don’t even know what I’m gonna do.”

“You know, this is the first time someone has been this worried for me,” Cassian mentioned fondly. “Quit fretting. I’m okay, bruised probably, but not seriously hurt. What about your friend, isn’t she waiting?”

Bodhi released Cassian. “I, uh. I’m sorry. I just got scared. I-if you want me gone- If you want to be- If you have something to do then I’ll just-”

“Bodhi, please!” Cassian grabbed the metallic wrist. “No. I didn’t mean it like that. Your fussing is cute. It makes me feel…” He fell silent. “Loved. Cherished,” he finished softly. “That’s new. I’m not used to feeling things like that.”

Bodhi’s color changed from salmon pink to crimson. Cassian considered melting on the spot. 

“I think it’s cute how you blush so easily and how you keep chatting and you’re such a gentle soul.” He brushed the pad of his thumb over Bodhi’s cheek. “Not to mention handsome.”

Since Bodhi couldn’t blush more, he tried to hide his face into his hands, but cringed when the cold metal touched his face. He balled his hands into fists and shot a frantic look at Cassian. 

“How can you think I’m handsome?” he argued heatedly. “I’m nothing special and this-” he held up the prosthetic arm, “this makes me look even less pleasing! And without it I’m- disabled.” 

Cassian couldn’t be fooled. He could hear the word ‘useless’ in that momentary pause. 

“You are not disabled,” he corrected. “Not to me. Not in any way that matters. I hope.” He grinned. “You trusted me with your mind, now trust me with your body. I’d never pity you and say something I don’t mean. Well, not anything positive, I might lose my temper once in a while.”

Bodhi had that desperate pleading look in his eyes again. “So you- don’t mind that I’m-”

“I don’t mind anything about you,” Cassian clarified and to prevent any further protesting and guessing, he kissed Bodhi. 

When it was over, Bodhi buried his face into Cassian’s collar. “Thank you. I’m placing a lot of trust in you, you know, but- You’ve always been so kind and helpful to me, I slept so well in your room while you were recovering and I’d really like to g-” He tilted his head up, eyes wide. “If that’s what you meant. G-going out with me, I mean.”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Cassian kissed Bodhi’s forehead. “Exactly that.”

“Awesome.” Bodhi curled his arms around Cassian’s waist. “It’s a bit of a first, too.”

“You haven’t dated anyone before?” Cassian tilted his head to the side, raising a brow. 

“I’ve never dated a guy.”

“Well, the beginning is a very delicate time,” Cassian mused, caressing Bodhi’s back with a smile. “But I’m sure that we can overcome any obstacle if we work together.”

“Um, instead of talking, could you perhaps kiss me again?”

Cassian happily complied. 


	3. Dealing with anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still no smut. I don't get it, either. On the other hand, Cassian sings. (also, this is very probably not the type of anxiety the prompt intended to suggest, but unfortunately, as you might already know, I rebel.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilariously bad lyrics committed by me. I am sorry.

It took a while for Cassian to set everything up, but he finally managed. Their timetables were cleared, the essentials gathered, the door calibrated to keep everyone out, so unless the Empire began bombing the base, absolutely nothing was going to bother or distract them. Deep inside, he felt a nagging annoyance that he had to go an almost literal mile just to ensure a romantic evening/night, but he did his best to silence the noise. He understood where Bodhi was coming from. 

Now the lights were set low, the temperature was just right and various containers were lined up by the bed which, unfortunately, was still standard sized; a little alcohol (to delicately loosen inhibitions), a lightly scented oil (for massage) and a few other things (as necessary). Only Bodhi was missing. 

And how Cassian missed him! During the past two weeks, they basically haven’t even seen each other, merely swapped messages. By now, Cassian was eager to do basically anything Bodhi would agree to. Which wasn’t _that_ much, most of the time. They’ve been dating for three months now and it was fantastic, really, all the kisses and teenager handholding, things Cassian haven’t had the chance to indulge in while he was pretending to be a grown-up and playing Rebel-With-A-Cause. It was sweet and innocent, something to enjoy and be a little embarrassed about because they were actual, serious grown-ups, who should have handled their relationship seriously. But it turned out that being all silly and mushy was a lot more fun. 

Cassian was definitely not opposed to fun. It’s just, he would have liked to start introducing some adult type of fun into the deal. He tried, subtly and less subtly but somehow, it never really worked out. Cassian let it fly until this; he knew that Bodhi was still recovering and he didn’t want to pressure him but he felt that it was time to discuss the topic. 

He nearly jumped when there was a signal at the door and rushed to let his lover in.

He was greeted by an armful of brown-skinned pilot whose color was rapidly getting more healthy, and an enthusiastic kiss. Cassian dragged themselves into the room and let the door slip close. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Bodhi announced once he ran out of air. Cassian licked his lips. “I noticed. I missed you, too. I absolutely had to put my foot down and ask for some slight schedule-arranging.”

“Oh, so it was you!” Bodhi laughed. “I was wondering about the perfect coincidence. So we both have all evening and tomorrow free.” He glanced around, noting the conditions and spotted Cassian’s carefully selected arsenal by the bed. “Oh, what do you have there?”

“There’s some booze, if you can stand it,” Cassian explained, curling his arms around Bodhi’s waist. “Then there’s some oil and some other things I hope to put to good use.” 

Bodhi frowned lightly, then the credit-chip dropped. He blushed and looked away. “O-oh. I see-”

“Bodhi.” Cassian gently urged him to look up. “We should talk about this now. I want you to know that there is absolutely no pressure, but if we’re staying together, I should know what’s going on. Yes, I’d like this relationship getting more physical. I want to have sex with you. And sometimes I think you want the same but then you change your mind.”

“Oh dang.” Bodhi buried his face into his hands. Cassian was right about everything. Every time the kisses grew more heated and hands began to wonder, Bodhi suddenly shot the progress down. ‘Cassian no, anyone could see us…’ ‘Cassian, the stains-!’ Cassian, I’d love to but it’s something urgent-!’ ‘Please Cassian… not yet, please.’ Excuses, excuses. Bodhi felt awful about them. 

He let himself be dragged to the bed and gently pushed down to sit. Cassian settled beside him, caressing Bodhi’s shoulders. 

“I can wait, I really can. I’d just like to know if you’re afraid of something, or maybe changed your mind… Or if you’re just not interested, I know that happens and I’d be okay… Well, since we’re honest with each other, I will be a little lost but I’d sooner shoot myself than to force you into anything-”

“No, I’d love to have sex with you!” Bodhi blurted out. “I’ve been thinking about it. I-it’s just… I’m probably being a complete idiot.”

Cassian reached for the booze. This sounded like something that alcohol could help with. 

Bodhi sipped the smooth Corellian liquor, indeed trying to draw strength from its subtle fire. “You know, I- I don’t have much experience with dating and sex. I do have some! There were a few girls… A few one night stands even. It’s just- I’ve never been with a guy.”

Cassian merely listened, he sensed that Bodhi was on the roll. 

”I know about it and all, I’ve seen stuff…” Bodhi continued. “I’d like to try it. All of it. Anything. I want it with you.” The look he gave to Cassian was full of yearning. “I really kept thinking about it, every night! But I was scared… That you’ll be disappointed. Like, I could mess up. I could- W-what if I’m just- Not good enough?” He jumped up and began to pace nervously. 

“I kept thinking that you’ll get bored. I mean, what if I can’t give you what you want? What you deserve? Because you really deserve the best. And what if you looked at me and realized that… You didn’t like me after all? I’m nothing exceptional. Not like you.”

Cassian blinked. “I’m exceptional?”

Bodhi glanced at him shyly. “I think you are. You’re so handsome. You’re a great fighter. You’re like this holodrama hero and… I’m the sidekick at best.” 

“You’re giving me anxiety, too,” Cassian shook his head with a smile. “Now that’s an image to live up to! What if it’s _you_ who won’t like what’s under _my_ clothes?”

Bodhi stared back with wide eyes. Apparently the thought had never occurred to him. “Still- you have all your limbs and I’m- Still stuck with this.” He held out his prosthetic hand. It was still just the bare frame. “I can feel with it but how it’s going to feel for you…?”

“We’ll never know if we don’t try.” Cassian stood up as well and walked to Bodhi. “I’m not saying some of your worries aren’t valid, but seriously… Put a little faith in me, okay? You aren’t just a piece of meat. I like your personality as well, your little quirks. The arm is a part of you, and I’m going to like it just as much.” He took the metallic hand and kissed it. 

“You can take it off if you’d like to, I don’t mind that you have only one arm. You only had one arm when I first realized that I care for you more than I probably should.” He caressed Bodhi’s face. “And you can learn sex. I- I have to admit, I’m not terribly knowledgeable either, thought at least I’ve had a dozen lovers from both genders and there were a few interesting adventures I’m not comfortable talking about… yet. Main thing is, I can teach you, and we can learn together. I certainly want to learn all of you…” A smirk crept to his lips. “Every spot that makes you moan. I want to learn how to take your breath away. I want to learn every scar on you, if you even have any and I want to kiss them.”

“O-okay…” Bodhi breathed. It was hard to tell in the low light but he was most probably blushing. “I’m sorry I doubted you. I’ll keep this in mind. I think… I just wanted it to be perfect.”

“Aww, but it’s going to be that, even if it’s not!” Cassian chuckled them began to hum. 

“Your sweet smile I love so much  
Makes the darkness fade away  
With a single gentle touch  
You brighten my gloomy day.”

Bodhi’s jaw fell. He recognized the song; it was the latest hit that popular holo channels kept playing, something silly but really catchy. And Cassian had the voice to pull it off, too.

“So don’t be shy darling,  
I’ll be here next morning  
Let us be together  
For now and forever!”

Cassian grinned widely and swept Bodhi into a dance, twirling him around. Bodhi giggled. “Aww, no, I can’t, I really can’t dance-”

Cassian paid the protests no heed.

“How could it be  
Anything but perfect  
It’s plain to see  
The moment is just right  
How could it be  
Anything but perfect  
When you and me  
Dance with the stars tonight!”

They waltzed around the tiny room, Cassian more surefooted and Bodhi hopping along, trying to match the steps. He was laughing now, eyes sparkling with merriment, previous worries falling away fast. 

Once Cassian stopped singing, finishing the routine with briefly dipping his partner, the mood had completely changed. Bodhi was smiling, his shoulder relaxed and it was him who moved closer for a kiss. Innocent tasting soon turned into a passionate game of tag, hands started to wander, clothes came off and while there was still some awkward fumbling and embarrassed giggling, there was nothing to keep them from enjoying each other’s company.


	4. Force sensitive Bodhi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some actual smut.

The first time it happened, they were having sex. They were nearing the peak both, sweat beading on their brows and Bodhi’s tongue tangling into words - he could never shut up. Cassian rolled his hips steadily, smiling to himself. He found the chatter endearing. 

“C-Cassian, Cassian, please...!” Bodhi whimpered. “Please make me come!”

“Working on it,” Cassian chuckled and shifted a little for a better angle, then began thrusting with renewed vigor. Bodhi didn't need much aid, so Cassian leaned on his hands and marveled at his lover’s expression, his parted lips, his brow knitting as if he’d been in pain and the lovely noises he made. 

“You’re beautiful like this,” Cassian whispered. “Let me see your eyes when you come.”

Bodhi obeyed, looking up with such utter adoration, it made Cassian’s heart sing; then he felt Bodhi’s fingers curling around his wrists.

“We could try to come together,” Bodhi suggested and Cassian’s heart turned up the volume of the singing. 

“How are you so perfect?” he questioned and began moving a little faster, chasing his own peak. He knew Bodhi wasn’t far off.

Cassian was no stranger to pleasure, but every lovemaking was unique and he loved each separate sensation, all the sensory input of scent, taste and sight, the heat, the friction, the fact that it was the brave little pilot writhing underneath him-

The next moment, everything exploded. The world around him, his brain, his nervous system screeched from overload and Cassian came right then, harder than ever before. He was vaguely aware that Bodhi was thrashing and yelling but he couldn’t do much about it - he all but collapsed, seeing stars and trying to suck in enough oxygen to function. 

His system soon rearranged itself and Cassian rose, but only to sprawl out next to his lover. 

“You okay-?”

“I… think so…” Bodhi panted. 

“What the Void was that?” Cassian mused. “It was freaking amazing!”

“You felt it, too?” Bodhi perked up. “It’s like- It’s like suddenly everything became twice as good! I couldn’t hold back!”

“Yeah,” Cassian nodded. “It’s almost like I could… feel what you felt.” He squinted at Bodhi. “Any idea?”

Bodhi shook his head and bit his lower lip. “Was it- too strange or-?”

“No, no.” Cassian smiled. “It was fantastic. If that’s how it’s going to feel when we orgasm together then I’m going to make an extra effort from now on.”

Bodhi giggled and snuggled up to him.

*

The second time was much more subtle. The mission was a disaster, their intelligence faulty, whether by ignorance or a conscious Imperial effort, it didn’t matter. Bodhi became hypervigilant at the moment they landed and Cassian had to restrain himself so he won’t snap at him. K-2 had no such qualms; now he was first in line to apologize to the pilot once they got out of the rather tight situation. 

Bodhi’s gut feeling was spot on; the new rebel cell was a rouse and it didn’t take long for the blasters to start blazing. The actual rebels were running for their lives and the Empire was much better equipped and informed. 

They were trying to shake off a squad of troopers and Cassian was sure that they were going to actually run into another squad of troopers. “K-2, mind playing GPS?? We need a route out!”

“Cassian please-”

“Ship- That way-” Bodhi panted and before anyone could have objected, he launched into a seemingly random direction. Cassian chased after him in a panic. 

“Bodhi, no, stay with me, you’re going to run straight into-”

The pilot suddenly flattened himself against a wall and everyone present followed on hardwired instinct. The troopers passed them and disappeared on the next corner. 

Bodhi peeked out from their cover. “All clear. We cut through there, and we’ll be at the landing pad.”

No one asked questions, they just followed. The ship was there. They were about to board when Bodhi suddenly tackled Cassian. The next moment, a blaster shot bounced off the hull, where the spy’s head had been.

K-2 borrowed a blaster, made short work of the approaching troops - most probably sent to secure the vehicle - then Bodhi lifted off, dodged two TIE fighters and made the jump. Then, he very politely asked K-2 to take the controls, and walked off to the back of the ship to deal with the mild panic attack. 

Cassian sat with him at arm’s length, waiting for the tremors to subside. Once he was greenlighted to approach and cuddled his boyfriend closer, not paying any mind to the two other guys arguing over the intel and his loudmouthed droid pal, he took a deep breath. “You saved my life again. You want my arm? It’s kept in a great condition with regular exercise.”

Bodhi actually laughed. “I’m keeping the fancy one, thank you.” The bare frame was familiar now, it barely warranted a glance. Bodhi kept declining the offers for making it look normal. He decided to keep it as it was as a tribute to the lives lost, and as a reminder that he paid his dues. 

“How did you know,” Cassian asked slowly, “where the ship was? We were hopelessly lost, high on adrenaline, and you spotted the shooter as well… It was- magical. I’m always going to listen to your instincts from now on.”

“I have no idea what happened,” Bodhi confessed. “I just- I felt something. As if there had been a homing beacon on the ship and a sensor in my head. And then just-” he shook his head. “I don’t know.” He looked up. “But I’m so glad for it, because I don’t want to lose you.” 

Cassian contemplated what would be the proper reply, and settled for a long kiss.

*

The third time was much like the first, except that now it was Bodhi rolling his hips to an ancient rhythm and it was Cassian writhing beneath him because the Rebellion preached equality and Bodhi developed a taste for an occasional twist in the routine.

Cassian was almost having second thoughts. It was too intense, too good and Bodhi looked absolutely exquisite above him, concentration etching lines into his handsome face. 

“You feel so good, Cass, so hot, you’re making me melt,” Bodhi whispered and Cassian refrained from pointing it out that he was anything but melted. 

“Am I doing it right? Are you getting closer?”

“Shut up and fuck me harder,” Cassian advised, because his erection was bordering on painful. “Grab my cock and bring me off, then fill me up.”

“You and your dirty mouth,” Bodhi cooed and doubled his efforts. Cassian was soon tethering on the edge.

“Oh shit, Bodhi, I’m gonna-”

And it happened again, that intense sensation rippling through him; he could feel Bodhi inside him so sharply, but somehow, he was also inside someone and was getting fondled and he was fondling someone and there was no way to stave off the powerful orgasm any longer, so Cassian let go and let himself fall. 

A little bit later, once they could do anything aside some intense breathing, Bodhi leaned on his elbows and licked his lips. “Cassian... I think it’s me.”

“The what?”

“These... Strange things, I think I’m doing them. And my instincts and how I fly so damn well…” Bodhi began to chew on his lower lip. “I think… I think it’s the Force.”

Cassian blinked. “What?”

“A little bit more coherency please, I’m freaking out here,” Bodhi said pointedly. “I… talked to Chirrut about stuff that seemed weird and he was his usual cryptic self about it, but he told me to trust myself and just go with it… And we meditate sometimes, y’know, and I can feel- Just _something_ , I’m not really sure. Like a river flowing through me. And Chirrut looks at me and he smiles like he knows something. And I actually caught Skywalker staring at me, and it was not the kinda stare you think it was.”

“Better not,” Cassian said possessively, a strange sort of tightness gripping his insides. “So, what are you going to do about it…?”

“I’d like to learn more,” Bodhi said, determined. “If I can use the Force, I want to use it… to protect people.”

The pain intensified but so did the warmth in Cassian’s chest. “You’re such a nice guy, Bodhi. Never change. We’ll see if there’s anyone who could help you, okay?”

Bodhi nodded and cuddle closer. “Cassian…?

“Hmm?”

“I hope it’s not disrespectful to the Force to share our pleasure when we’re together, because I’d like to keep doing it.”

The tightness eased up a bit and Cassian smiled. “I’m sure the Force has no objections.”


	5. Happy Ending

The sky was lit by sparkling lights and the air was alive with music. The Force itself was thrumming with energy, the waves of victorious joy rippling through space, spreading from planet to planet.

The Emperor was dead. Darth Vader was no more, the Empire suffered a devastating blow, the snake’s head bitten off. 

Everything and everyone reached up to touch the stars, to welcome joy with open arms. The sound of drums throbbed like a living heart and the many singing voices mingled into a choir, even if they sang different songs. The melodies merged into a hymn of triumph.

“I can feel it,” Bodhi whispered with awe. “All their joy, all over the galaxy. We won.” He looked at Cassian, eyes wide and sparkling. “We won!”

“Not yet,” Cassian, the ever practical corrected. “The Empire is huge… We definitely gave them something to think about, but the fight is hardly over. We’ll have to deal with many smaller threats now instead of a large one.” He smiled a little. “However, it should be easier from now on.”

“Don’t rain on the parade,” Bodhi chastised. “This is our great victory! When we learned that there was a new Death Star, I nearly pissed myself!”

“I was there,” Cassian reminded him. Then, on a whisper, he added, “I was afraid I was going to lose you.”

Bodhi raised a brow. “You mean, then…?”

Cassian nodded. “You were pretty out of it for a little while. I thought- Maybe it’ll bring everything back, all the bad memories and you won’t be able to fight.” He stepped closer, running a hand over Bodhi’s shoulder. “But you just shook it off and marched forward. I was so stupidly proud of you.”

“Hey, thanks for all the trust,” Bodhi rolled his eyes but he moved closer as well. “Nothing can take me out for too long anymore. I mean, I’m half a Jedi!” He grinned at Cassian. “And I have my friends. And you.”

“Ow,” Cassian nodded. “I deserved that.” He took a sip from his drink. “So how’s the Jedi business going?”

“It’s not even going anywhere,” Bodhi made a vague gesture. “I haven’t even talked to luke for months now, and at the moment, I’d say he’s somewhat… otherwise occupied. I hope that once everything calms down a little, we could discuss it.” He grinned. “Chirrut said he’s running out of things to teach me.”

“Except for zama-shiwo moves,” Cassian pointed out. “I’m glad you took that up.”

“Yeah. It did me a lot of good,” Bodhi beamed. “Some people took to call me ‘little master’, how cool is that?”

“Very cool,” Cassian agreed and curled his arm around his lover’s waist. “You’ve changed a lot. Gained some muscle. Got promoted...”

“I wasn’t the only one,” Bodhi tapped at Cassian’s rank badge. “Jyn is an actual sergeant now, as is Baze, but he still won’t use it… Quite a few things happened in the past five years!”

“Has it really been that long?” Cassian pondered. “It’s hard to believe. Scarif still feels like it happened yesterday.”

“Hoth was worse,” Bodhi pointed out. “Scarif was really fast. We had to spend a good while on that ice cube… Except that it wasn’t good at all.”

“It was good when we could cuddle up,” Cassian cooed, making Bodhi giggle. 

“Well yes, that part was lovely. All the cuddling was lovely…” He let his head drop on Cassian’s shoulder. “You’re actually right. It’s hard to believe we’ve been together for almost five years… I still love you the same as back then. More, even.”

“That’s good to hear,” Cassian whispered. “I love you too. You helped me so much, you were my reason to get up in the morning, to keep on fighting, to make it this far.” He gulped and and cupped Bodhi’s face with his free hand. “I can barely believe that you’re here, that I haven’t lost you along the way.” His eyes were shining. “I don’t think I could bear losing you.”

“But you won’t, Cassian, you won’t,” Bodhi soothed, returning the gesture. “I’m yours. Don’t think I wasn’t worried sick over you whenever you were in the infirmary!”

“I know, I’m just… getting a little sentimental,” Cassian sniffed. “I’m just afraid that- you’ll go with Luke and I won’t be able to see you.”

“Being your SO is more important to me that becoming a Jedi,” Bodhi said quietly but firmly. “If that’s a problem, then I won’t go with Luke. And if it isn’t, it’s not like you can’t visit me… Or, you could come with us! I’d wager, Luke will have to search for clues about the Jedi, I mean, they’re pretty much gone. And searching, getting information is your expertise.” He grinned. “Maybe if we finally give Kaytu a new paintjob, people would be less inclined to shoot him.”

Cassian laughed. “I think red is his color. Thank you so much.” He sighed. “I wasn’t sure about this Force thing… I mean, I know so little about it, and it’s really something else… Something ordinary people have nothing to do with. “ He chuckled. “I was jealous.”

“Oh but you don’t have to be,” Bodhi smooched him. “I have to admit, I’ve grown rather fond of sharing a bed with someone… Not to mention sharing other things.”

Cassian shivered when a sliver of pleasure rippled along his spine. “You little fiend. Say- would you mind sharing a house?”

Bodhi blinked. “A house…?”

“I mean, if everything quiets down and there’s no more Force training and all… We could settle down. I don’t know, I’ve heard someone mention Yavin 4.”

“Like you and me, living together in our own house?” Bodhi’s eyes sparkled. “Oh. Oh, I think I’d love that.” 

“Alright, I hoped you’d say that… Now-” Cassian took a deep breath. “I asked the Guardians about this, and I understand that it won’t be very traditional, since we both lack in the parent department, and, well, Jedha isn’t a hospitable place right now and this thing is-” he pulled something forth from his pocket, “hardly what I should be giving you but I’d be honored if you-”

Bodhi slapped a hand on Cassian’s mouth with a panicked look. “Hold it right there. Is that an engagement gift?”

Cassian nodded slowly. 

“You want to marry me??”

“Well, I was hoping,” Cassian mumbled.

Bodhi took two steps back. “No! I mean yes! I mean- I need a drink.” He downed the remaining contents of his cup and placed it aside. “I do feel honored! I love you and I totally wouldn’t mind taking that bracelet- are those kyber slivers in it-?”

“Yes.” Cassian confessed. “I filched them from that shipment we intercepted back at the Adega job.” 

Bodhi moaned. “You’ve been thinking about this for so long?” 

“No, but it was kyber and it was there, and-” Cassian made a vague gesture. 

“Now stop looking like I’ve kicked you,” Bodhi stepped closer to embrace his lover. “I’m still trembling from excitement. Sorry to spoil it, but I’m going to say yes.” He kissed Cassian. “But I’d like you to wait a little. You said it yourself, the war isn’t over yet, and once that bracelet is on my wrist, I want to spend a month at some exotic location, making love to you all day long.”

“Oh.” Cassian could swear he could hear the rumble of the boulder rolling off his chest. “Okay. I can do that.”

“I also want to get a gift for you,” Bodhi continued, grinning widely. “And find some good tea, and involve everybody I like. I want a Jedhan wedding. I mean as close as it’s possible. 

“Alright, alright,” Cassian laughed. “You got me worried for a moment.”

“I’ve tolerated you for five years already, do you think I want to stop now?” Bodhi gestured toward the celebrating crowd. “We did so much together. We were forged in fire. We were part of this.. We are part of this. And we are part of each other.” He looked up at the sky and raised his hand, reaching for the fireworks with a dreamy look. “I’d say, this is truly a happy ending.”

“No,” Cassian said softly. “This is a very happy beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this concludes it! Thanks for reading, leave a comment below.


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